2006年11月17日星期五, 我从北京来到了上海. This journey is a mixture of feelings. I’m a little sad because I’m not coming back for a good reason, on the other hand, I’m coming back for Lin. I haven’t met her for 2 weeks and I missed her very much. 上海, 还是给我这种很好的感觉. 在北京时想的如在北京工作的想法, 在来到上海之后就没有了, 一点也没有了, 也许会很想我的朋友, 但是我知道北京不是我的家, 不是我的归属. 在北京, 我缺少那种属于我的归属感. 想到大学中的朋友, 让我感慨万千, 特别是我那些相处的很好的朋友. 有点可惜, 但是there’s no way around.

很想念爸爸, 当一个人走了的时候, 会有这种错觉, 就是他还在, 还在你的身边, 看着你, 注视着你, from heaven. 坐在浦东的陆家嘴的一家STARBUCKS, 感觉, 我的STARBUCKS情怀是由Janet Stark, 这个漂亮的美国人影响我的. Janet是个我很喜欢的人, 是个很好的人, 我认为她是我一辈子的朋友. 这样的朋友不多, 但是我很欣慰的看到他们在我的身旁, 在我最需要他们的时候just be there for me, and there’s no need to talk. 怎么说呢, 爸爸走后, 我想了很多, 也伤心了很多次. 就像很多人告诉我的一样, 我现在是大人了, 其实, 一直想这么样子, you know, be like a man, or be a man. 但真正到了这种时候, 我又觉得非常的伤感, why is it always have to be like this? My happy ending? You gotta be kidding me. I don’t know where my future is, but what I know is, wherever it is, I’m gonna make it right. 有些迷茫, 有些彷徨, 似乎前途未朴, 似乎没有了依靠. Just like what I said, when it comes to the point, you don’t… actually, it takes time to get used to it. Maybe, maybe, god, wish you could guide me there. But I know all of this has got to do with myself, nobody can really help me, this help comes from deep within me. And I’m my only saver.

You know, sometimes you have to say what the fuck and make your move, and for always, you should look at the bright side of the world. This is always gonna happen, to anyone of us, so, nothing can change that fact. Well, let’s not call it a fact, let’s call it reality.

听说政府又开始了’丐帮化’, meaning 又拿起了’打狗棒’… 开始了声势浩大的’打狗运动’. 就如同我的朋友Steven说的一样,又给外国人说中国人的机会了. 不过, 中国人对狗实在是不太公平的, 不仅是对狗, 对所有的动物. 关键是人的认识和观念不够, that’s the point. 其实, 也不能完全怪政府, 因为他们也有他们的为难的地方, 不当政者不知当政者的困局. 但即使是像爸爸一样的好官, 有时候也难免他主观的时候, 所以, 怎么说呢, that’s the way how it evolves, how it develops. 我想我这辈子是和官员无缘了, 虽然官员是看起来很帅气, 很有面子的事情, 但是, 其中的苦谁知道? And that’s the price that I wouldn’t pay.

This thing has changed my point of view on live. I think I’m gonna lead a casual and easy way of live, you know, traveling around and make my life much more interesting. :) and so far, Lin is really nice and we really get along well, I think she may be the one. I don’t know for sure, but what I’m sure about is that we are having a great time and I really like her very much… and let’s face it, I’m not a handsome guy, and it’s hard to find true love, well, maybe not true love, but at least we like each other and it’s mutual, that’s good, not like those one night stand or unrequited love. Especially after this incident, I’m finding cherishing love very important, what else do you got, man? Nothing but love.

在写这篇文章的时候, 很有想在上海工作的冲动, 也许, 真的, this is fate, that brings me earlier to Shanghai. Just love the way you are, Shanghai, this is what I want to tell you. You are such a beautiful woman, and I love you from the bottom of my heart. :)

Maybe it’s time for a stroll. :) Sunset Boulevard.

Take care Jack. Take care man. Johnny be good. :)